walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
