She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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