fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
