how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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