I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
