Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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