Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
