All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize