love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize