I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
