No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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