hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
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