Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
