he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
