the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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