it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
