Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
