Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize