just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize