Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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