he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
