the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
