Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
