i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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