i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
