my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
