How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
