I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
My ass is underappreciated
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
