my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
