I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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