Plan B is the new Plan A
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
