you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
