i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
