Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
