she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
