Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
