My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
My liver is preforming stress tests.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
