we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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