went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
