That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
