Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize