What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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