They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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