Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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