We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I will pee on everything he values.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
