just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
