We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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