what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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