well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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