Buhtt sex?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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