there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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