That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize
