I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
