There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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