Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
