He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
