So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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