I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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