I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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