We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
