The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
