Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Your penis caused this!
Randomize