school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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