I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
