I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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