Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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