I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
