If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
