Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize