she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
